Its been a while faithful friends (all 7 of you!), and I have no excuse for my absence. Not true, I have several that all stem around the fact that going back to work after taking a year off to have a baby really screws with a persons life. As you well know, my confidence about my ability to be a paramedic hovers around 0 on a day to day basis, and as you may be able to guess, I have had a lot of issues about leaving said 'baby' (2 is still a baby right?) to go back to work. But no excuse, just my just my pithy offerings for your alter of forgiveness.

I went part time again. There were a lot of reasons it was the right decision for us, not the least of which is that our supply of free babysitting seemed to be dwindling. My husband works the rotating fire schedule, which really meant that some weeks, our days on and off would be opposite from each others, and other weeks we literally needed 40 hours of childcare. Hence part time. The fun thing about part time is the ability to not work for weeks at a time with no negative employment ramifications at all! Of course the bank account ramifications prevent that from happening, but its nice to have the option. The less fun thing about being pt is the epidemic spreading across the nation even as we speak, folks-lock up your children-NEW BASICS! Ah, what a short period of time it took for me as an infant medic to begin complaining about the very people occupying the job that I was performing not 2 years ago! And of course, as always, I really don't mean to offend, and if you're reading this, you're probably an experienced basic and probably a great one! The kind of basic that makes me sigh in relief when I see you on scene. Its not likely that you're a NEW BASIC. I'm fairly certain that my company has tripled our work force in the last 3 months with slightly gawky, socially awkward, too afraid to ask questions and too stupid to admit they don't know everything basics. When I was a new basic, there was a certain hazing period that we all went through. Nothing malicious, nothing dangerous. Just some good natured being completely ignored and knowing not to speak until spoken to. Now it seems that the influx of NEW BASICS has overwhelmed our ability to properly put them through the paces and we have given up, only muttering a few choice words about the names we've never heard of before on the strength report and assuming the worst of all of them as one. Please don't imagine that I have forgotten the learning curve involved with joining the world of EMS, quite the opposite in fact. As a new medic I rely on that learning curve not only to not look like a jackass at the hospitals, but also to keep my job. Maybe I am being too harsh, but when I'm the only medic, with 3 basics at a trauma code and I ask for someone to set me up a bag and a bp cuff is placed in my hand.....I get that warm and fuzzy feeling inside that alerts me to the fact that my head is about to explode in anger

It is nice however to be A MEDIC, in a culture of NEW BASICS. Do you remember who that awe-inspiring medic was to you? Mine was Beth. Beth was, and still is, a very small, very funny, very badass medic who was full time when I started as a basic. she was my FTO on more than one occasion, and I remember watching her stairchair a hugely pregnant woman down a flight of stairs, crushing her hand between the stairchair and the banister, never flinching. I also remember her telling me to check that pregnant woman for crowning...She went part time a few years back when she got a fire job, and I miss seeing her all the time. When I do see her however, its different now that I'm a peer. But I remember what it was like, to feel looked upon with favor, to feel included in the conversation by a medic that you respect. I'm trying to be that to these tiny little basics. I'm trying to be someone for them to look up to, and I'm discovering that its not easy. Its not easy to feel so rushed, so relied on, so stretched thin by a system that constantly outgrows itself, and still make nice, and exude teachable moments to these kids that are surely as scared as I was 4 years ago.

The desire to share stories about calls is deeply rooted in most medics that I come across. I, evidently, am no different.

Dispatched pri 1 for the "machete fight" (at 9am on a Sunday), coming from across the city, no other trucks available. Ops supervisor on scene prior to our arrival. I pulled on the street and passed the victim, lying prone with the supervisor holding a trauma dressing on his back. My partner, with the door open before I put it in park says, "oh Ang, he's in a bad way."

Her first clue was the ever expanding pool of blood.....

We walk up and the supervisor-never the calmest tech in the world-rips off the trauma dressing to reveal a foot long laceration almost down to the bone. Patient transported, chatting with my partner during the clean up, when all of a sudden, it hits me,
"I know we're medics and all, but I feel we should have some more warning when someone is about to show us that kind of gore...."

Dispatched some priority for a rehab patient with headaches and general get-me-outta-here-itis.
Giving the cmed report to a secretary (isn't that a great idea?) and said the patient was in rehab status post fall and deteriorating. Three times this ever-increasingly angry secretary asked me if the patient sustained any injury from the fall. Three times I explained that the fall was not recent, I finally just hung up the mic. On arrival at the hospital the secretary pulls me aside to tell me that she was trying to get to the root of the problem, and that when the chief complaint is a fall, they expect a report of injuries. I did not explain to her the meaning of 'status post'. It bothers me to this day that I didn't.

The stories that I generally share always end with me feeling pretty uncomfortable actually; getting 'spoken to' by a secretary who doesn't understand the idea of being in rehab status post fall? Really?

I can do better.

The desire to share stories about a child is deeply rooted in most moms I come across. I, evidently, am no different.

My son is 21 months old. There is only one story that I can tell you that captures his personality perfectly.
At our local YMCA there is a program called Tumble and Play for toddlers. They open the gym up, set up all kinds of mats and big ramps, put out balls and hula-hoops and play music. It gives parents a little while to exhaust the children, while simultaneously feel like they are out of the house and with other adults. One day my little guy saw another child trip and fall and immediately begin crying. The mom knelt down and comforted the hysterical toddler. I turned my head for one second, and when I turned back, my son, this little boy with my knees, my round face, was attempting to become part of the embrace with this mother and her child. He had this look of concern on his face that I will never forget, as if he were saying to me, "Mom. Something here isn't right, I'm gonna see if I can do anything to help, ok?" My son, my whole world, my very reason for putting one foot in front of the other, HE is a true care provider.

Do you hope your children follow in your footsteps?

My Intro......

Recently, my world has come down to just three sure things:
1.I love being a mom.
2.I'm committed to making a career for myself as a medic (and not a firefighter).
3.And I'm never going to stop writing.

So, since I've created this space with lofty goals, I'm going to use it. The following will be a simple tour of my life as a new medic working 911s for a private company in a medium sized urban setting; trying to go to work and do my job, come home and do my job and not get dragged down by toxic people.

A small note here before we begin. Rereading my words, 'not a firefighter' sounds rude, as if there is something wrong with firefighters, let me assure you, I have as much respect for our fds as a wide eyed first grader on a field trip. BUT, and since I'm married to a firefighter, I feel that I'm a good non-biased judge of this, I don't believe that fire run ems systems are the best way to manage a community's needs. Not only because I would never want to be inside a burning building, but because I would never as my lawyer to wire my electrical what-nots in my house. Two highly skilled BUT COMPLETELY DIFFERENT jobs. Imagine all the potential firefighters, or potential medics that are turned off from the job totally because of the dual fire extinguishing and iv starting requirements. Like me. A medic. Interested in the benefits, respect and schedule offered by fire departments. Terrified of fire. I hope you enjoy my antics and rantings, and as always, feel free to comment, or to tell me when I'm out of line. ;-)