Its been a while faithful friends (all 7 of you!), and I have no excuse for my absence. Not true, I have several that all stem around the fact that going back to work after taking a year off to have a baby really screws with a persons life. As you well know, my confidence about my ability to be a paramedic hovers around 0 on a day to day basis, and as you may be able to guess, I have had a lot of issues about leaving said 'baby' (2 is still a baby right?) to go back to work. But no excuse, just my just my pithy offerings for your alter of forgiveness.

I went part time again. There were a lot of reasons it was the right decision for us, not the least of which is that our supply of free babysitting seemed to be dwindling. My husband works the rotating fire schedule, which really meant that some weeks, our days on and off would be opposite from each others, and other weeks we literally needed 40 hours of childcare. Hence part time. The fun thing about part time is the ability to not work for weeks at a time with no negative employment ramifications at all! Of course the bank account ramifications prevent that from happening, but its nice to have the option. The less fun thing about being pt is the epidemic spreading across the nation even as we speak, folks-lock up your children-NEW BASICS! Ah, what a short period of time it took for me as an infant medic to begin complaining about the very people occupying the job that I was performing not 2 years ago! And of course, as always, I really don't mean to offend, and if you're reading this, you're probably an experienced basic and probably a great one! The kind of basic that makes me sigh in relief when I see you on scene. Its not likely that you're a NEW BASIC. I'm fairly certain that my company has tripled our work force in the last 3 months with slightly gawky, socially awkward, too afraid to ask questions and too stupid to admit they don't know everything basics. When I was a new basic, there was a certain hazing period that we all went through. Nothing malicious, nothing dangerous. Just some good natured being completely ignored and knowing not to speak until spoken to. Now it seems that the influx of NEW BASICS has overwhelmed our ability to properly put them through the paces and we have given up, only muttering a few choice words about the names we've never heard of before on the strength report and assuming the worst of all of them as one. Please don't imagine that I have forgotten the learning curve involved with joining the world of EMS, quite the opposite in fact. As a new medic I rely on that learning curve not only to not look like a jackass at the hospitals, but also to keep my job. Maybe I am being too harsh, but when I'm the only medic, with 3 basics at a trauma code and I ask for someone to set me up a bag and a bp cuff is placed in my hand.....I get that warm and fuzzy feeling inside that alerts me to the fact that my head is about to explode in anger

It is nice however to be A MEDIC, in a culture of NEW BASICS. Do you remember who that awe-inspiring medic was to you? Mine was Beth. Beth was, and still is, a very small, very funny, very badass medic who was full time when I started as a basic. she was my FTO on more than one occasion, and I remember watching her stairchair a hugely pregnant woman down a flight of stairs, crushing her hand between the stairchair and the banister, never flinching. I also remember her telling me to check that pregnant woman for crowning...She went part time a few years back when she got a fire job, and I miss seeing her all the time. When I do see her however, its different now that I'm a peer. But I remember what it was like, to feel looked upon with favor, to feel included in the conversation by a medic that you respect. I'm trying to be that to these tiny little basics. I'm trying to be someone for them to look up to, and I'm discovering that its not easy. Its not easy to feel so rushed, so relied on, so stretched thin by a system that constantly outgrows itself, and still make nice, and exude teachable moments to these kids that are surely as scared as I was 4 years ago.